2009--different year

this final year of the decade was a different year. it started out with the loss of one of the most special people in my life--my grandma. i still cannot express in words my feelings of her loss here on earth, but i do know that her suffering in her sickness was for God's glory and that i need to learn a lot of the Christian virtues she had. one of them forgiveness....i believe this virtue was tested all throughout 2009...relationships with friends and family were examined and in many ways i felt wronged or neglected in someway. these feelings even led me to question my own relationship with God and i found myself in a place where i started to deny the love of God in my own life. i learned a valuable lesson though...the more i examined myself and my actions, i am not a perfect person, far from it. the verse 'love covers a multitude of sins' has been my theme for the ending part of 2009. as I am not a perfect person, God covers me and my sins out of His undying love for me. this example i must do with others. a way to deal with this is to just not focus so much on the error someone did to me, but rather focus on how much God has mercy on me and that i should do the same for others. i hear a lot of the arabic expressions of 'fawitty' or '3adeeha'...and while in my hurt sometimes it's very hard, i learned it is the only way to overcome the hurt.

i can sit all day and discuss the virtues my grandma had, but this one tops it all...so as 2010 is a mere 4 days away, i can say that my year of struggle has yielded positive hopes for the coming year.

2010

i really can't believe that a decade has passed....i was in college in 1999 having the time of my life. the year 2000 was very significant as my first relationship ended which was very difficult for me. i set out that year to do something new with myself and i somehow ended up in morocco for 3 months. that unforgettable trip was amazing but it also taught me that no matter how far i go, issues that i face don't go away by just hopping on a plane....

so in the year 2010, i seek to reinvent myself...thankfully this time there are no relationships that have ended (actually it's a drought on my end)...but in this drought, i want to look at my singleness as a rainy season of opportunities...

here are some goals for 2010...

1- yes the one everyone has--lose weight...i love to eat and i eat when im happy and sad...so i want to learn to find new ways of eating yummy things but that don't add onto the winter padding...i also need to COMMIT to exercising...

2- cooking: this year my grandma past away and i have to tell you, she was an amazing cook...after her death, i went into the kitched with my mom and made macarona bashamel, that turned out really yummy....i realized that i do have a talent for cooking HOWEVER, just like everything else in my life, i have no patience...so the film julie and julia inspired me....i want to be a good cook and make yummy things, although im finding that this particular goal may not be compatible with number 1, i may have to find receipes that are not as fattening as julia child's...so for now i will watch her and chef jacques pepin...God help me

3- this actually should have been number 1....not 3....delighting in the Lord....i find myself wanting to be distracted by so many things...this cooking thing could be a distraction, but again my lack of commitment to cooking and exercising is because i can just can't commit to God...i seek during 2010 that it will be a year of growth delighting in Him, even though there may be a man drought...LOL

so those are my thoughts and i hope that this blog keep me on track to do such things...

oh and of course traveling...im kinda broke at this point to do that right now...although i would like to revisit austria and paris again....my last trip was to ft lauderdale...i have to say i loved it and i wouldnt mind moving there :)