Friday, December 26, 2014

Some thoughts on 2014

2014

As 2014 draws to a close I have to say this has been a difficult yet eye opening year. Im thankful to come to this day despite the struggles. I started out 2014 wanting to change myself, I was at my heaviest and decided to put my foot down to change at least one aspect in my life that I had control over. While I did lose some weight I found that the same issues for my weight gain kept creeping up again towards the end of the year. I may have gained some weight back --I know I will never allow myself to get to the point where I've neglected myself.

This year I also lost a good friend. I was very vocal about this loss in the beginning I've found that somehow I've internalized the grief. I think about how to be a better friend and often stop myself in random places to make sense of the 'what if' and how my life is different by knowing one person.  My view on friendships has changed as a result and I tend to value the closest to me even more.  I came close to losing another friend in a serious car accident but thankfully she walked away without a scratch but the mere thought of losing another person allowed me to reflect more on how we deal with each other.

1-  to those you may have wronged you, or you may have wronged them. Based on this year, do not delay reconciliation. If you are upset with someone voice it to them, if you know someone is upset with you, also reach out to them. Know that people aren't perfect and make mistakes. Be a little more empathetic of the others circumstances, sometimes anger stems from outside factors beyond anyone's control. Voicing your grievance (with love of course) may help the other person realize that their issues shouldn't interfere with the friendship.  In general we should stay away from texting our grievances and pick up the phone and maybe visit to speak about issues. Which leads me to my second point 

2- stop being so busy. Yah we have 100 things on our plate but at the end of the day we are nothing if we aren't giving love or being loved. Our relationships have become at the mercy of a telephone or computer screen instead of the old fashioned face to face conversations. Even in person we are distracted with what's happening in other people's lives on fb or Instagram we aren't connecting as well with the person or people right in front of us.  Call someone instead of texting, you'll find the relationship to be a little stronger than just messages that can lose meaning behind a screen. That extra five minutes to talk to someone can mean the world, and it's five minutes of giving and receiving love you wouldn't have had since we're too busy.

3- to the depressed and lonely. If anything, I've heard so many people in 2014 express to me their depression and loneliness. Some of these people give everything of themselves to the service of others yet no one stops to make sure they're okay. Some are depressed because of lack of direction in life and struggle because society is putting an age limit of when we should be married or score that perfect job in life. We have to stop putting pressure on ourselves and actually live life instead of worrying about what we don't have. It's easier said than done. Just know as long as you are loved and are getting off your couch daily to do something for yourself and others, you're already headed in the right direction. 

4- don't forget to take care of yourself. Recharge your batteries so that you can keep going. Your mind and spirit won't benefit if you're not taking care of yourself. Pamper yourself, take a time out, take up a new hobby, anything that soothes you so that you can keep going with a positive spirit

5-surround yourself by positive not negative. There are tons of Scrooges in this world, they say misery loves company.  Surround yourself with those who will challenge you to be a better person, that will enable you to be that positive force in this world to help lift others up. It will also help you deal with negative in a positive way. 

I hope 2015 is a better year for everyone. I wish everyone health, happiness, joy, love and laughter

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Weigh-- less

I love New York.  I love New York food and my waist line has shown my true love for food.  Anywhere you go in NYC, you have your pizza place, favorite deli to get your sandwich, the best desserts, bakeries, and cupcakes of course.  Honestly there are so many places to try it's not until thousands of calories later I would lay lethargically in my bed from eating a really good meal from yet another good place.   Last October, my friend Bassem came into town and naturally I wanted to take him to one of those awesome must try places that NYC has to offer.  He refused and just asked for something light.  I called him insane because how could one be in the arguably one of the most diverse cities in the entire world and refuse food???   We went for a walk instead around Brooklyn Bridge Park where he told me his story about his weight loss and his healthy lifestyle.   Part of me rolled my eyes because I was so stuck on eating good food and for once I met someone who declined the offer and instead agreed on a simple cup of coffee.   The other part of me applauded his efforts and his will to stay healthy.

It was last October where I was home for 18 days due to the government shutdown and the stress took a toll on me.  I am a stress and emotional eater.  I use food to help me get through problems, I use food to help me celebrate when I overcome them.  With a 80 mile round trip commute daily that adds to to my stress....I became a drive thru eater as well.  I would go home and become a couch potato for the rest of the night.  I started to notice my extreme weight gain in pictures taken in November and December to the point where I felt super embarrassed.  With the horrible winter that NY had this year, i became even more immobile and lethargic and with that more depressed.  

I went on my yearly retreat to a monastery in January and decided to extend my stay in Southern California mainly to find myself again and why I had allowed myself to gain so much weight.  I also saw as I gained weight, the sicker I became.  I got sick in California and then about 3 weeks after my return I was so sick to the point my doctor told me to stay home for a week.  Something had to be done and I didn't know where to start to get my health back on track.  

The end of February 2014 was the beginning of Lent.  While we always focus on our 'spiritual' health during this time period, I thought it would be a great opportunity to also get my 'physical' health back on track.  I turn 35 in July and thought it would be a great idea to do a 35lb weight loss for my 35th birthday.  I used to only lose weight for external reasons like if i I was in a wedding or if I was going to a wedding in a different state and I would get pushed to lose weight because who would wanna marry a fat girl?  This time it was different, it was for me and not for anything or anyone else.  I came face to face with my heavy weight --literally the heaviest I've ever been-- and instead of dwelling on it I realized I was on a daily journey, just like every day/week in Lent is a different theme part of a larger journey.   I signed into My Fitness Pal again to keep track of my calorie intake and decided to go back to the gym. I started out with Zumba, because it was fun and I was moving.   It was difficult at first because I saw how many fit people were in my class and here I was with the large bum, thunder thighs and wobbly arms that could barely move.  However the instructor in the class just wanted everyone to move despite the physical appearance.  

As the weeks went by, I found doing the steps a little easier and I found a group of people that were on the same journey as I was--to live a healthy lifestyle.  I even told my friend Bassem what I was doing and told him his conversation with me back in October was one of the driving forces behind my new lifestyle.  I told him I didn't think he was insane anymore and understood why he held back then.  So with Bassem and other friends, I had a network of people to help keep me accountable.  I bought a Fitbit pedometer to track my daily steps.    

One day after my Zumba class, I bumped into a trainer that helped get me into shape 2 years ago when I was trying to get into shape for a wedding I was in.  He told me of this new class that he was doing to help train for an obstacle race to be held in Brooklyn NY in Sept 2014.  Of course my mind told me that I couldn't do a race, I could barely move.  I told that to my trainer and he said, just try and just train with us.  I know you could do it.   The first day of this class....I never dripped more sweat in my life and felt so out of shape.  I almost felt defeated that I was going as fast as everyone else or that I couldn't complete all the rounds, however the trainer said he was super proud of me for getting through the entire session without giving up.  And yes, I signed up for more classes and kept pushing myself.   

The pounds kept coming off one week at a time and by Easter many started to see results.  How many compliments I received at Easter liturgy---many encouraged to keep doing what I was doing.  My friend Bassem and I had a weekly progress report conversation about what worked and what didn't work. During our last phone conversation, I thanked him for inspiring me to live a healthy lifestyle and our conversation from last October had resonated with me, but of course the next day, I was feeling a little lazy....he told me to get up and go back to the gym.  I went to the gym and received multiple encouraging messages from him...and that specific workout I hurt my back because I swung kettle bells the wrong way, so I had relax for a couple of days.  Little did I know that would be the last time I would hear from Bassem as he died the following day in Cairo.  

My world was crushed to hear about Bassem's death and somehow in my grief I wanted to go back to emotional eating.  Only this time I couldn't. I knew if I did that, he would be rolling in his grave.  Eating wasn't the solution and I had made so much progress I couldn't go back to my old lifestyle.  Thankfully Bassem wasn't the only person in my fitness support group so I had other people to talk to support me but this was a big blow.  I found that I have had more support with my weight loss endeavor after Bassem's death.   I remembered why I was losing weight, it wasn't for a person or an event it was for my overall health.  

So today I am writing this 20 lbs lighter than I was in February.  While my birthday is only 3 weeks away and I wont reach the 35 lb goal, I know that I've gained a goal of living a healthier lifestyle.  Here are things that have worked for me:

1- tracking- I use my fitness pal to enter in everything that goes into my mouth.  Tracking what I eat is important because it helps me plan to eat better for the day.   everyone tracks differently, if weight watchers works for you, do that.  do what works for you... which will bring me into the next point

2- portion control-- America is obese for a reason--if you go to any restaurant the meal given to you is probably equivalent to the calorie intake for the day and then some if you decide to have appetizers and dessert, you're pretty much done for the week...I'm glad that at chain restaurants in NYC, calorie content is listed on the menus...if you go to Cheesecake Factory, my favorite dish alone is over 2000 with a 1300 calorie cheesecake for dessert....that's extra pounds you can avoid right there.  Portion control--try ordering from the diet menus or if you have to order from the main menu, take your plate and put half aside.  fill yourself up with salad before hand (without the dressing) and stay away from the bread.  That way you can have HALF of your cheesecake at the end of the meal.  Yes folks, you can eat what you want but be mindful of HOW much you put in your system.  Many people who travel to the US from Europe and beyond are always shocked with how much food is put in our plates at the mainstream restaurants.  The good thing about portion control is that you can save that yummy food you had at dinner for the next day at lunch without feeling guilty that you've consumed everything in one sitting and feeling terribly sick after.  Listen to your body, if it's full and if you're stomach starts to hurt, it's okay not to finish your plate....

3- drink water, ditch the soda and the caffeine.  I love diet coke--or i used to.  Now I can't stand to drink it and have replaced it with water.  I haven't completely abandoned caffeine but I have noticed my cut down in my coffee intake from 3-5 cups a day to only ONE, yes ONE (and that's in the morning) has helped me drink more water and stay better hydrated.  I rarely drink juice or other drinks because of too much sugar.   Also down size what you get at your local coffee shop--instead of a venti or a grande drink at Starbucks, get a tall.  Get regular coffee and try to stay away from the flavored drinks and frappachinos.  seriously some drinks at Starbucks are a meal in itself or worse with too much sugar.  I've noticed with my food changes, I cannot tolerate the sugary drinks anymore...stick to traditional coffee and teas.

4- support system- I mentioned Bassem in this article, but I have to say I have a phenomenal group of friends who have supported and encouraged me throughout this entire process.   They motivate me when I just don't feel like moving and celebrate my milestones as I do with them.  They tell me I can when I say I can't. I'm forever grateful and indebted to them.   

5- Exercise-- I hate the treadmill with a passion.  i hate the elliptical but I do it sometimes.  Get moving, whatever it is.  If you dance for 30 minutes or go for a walk, just get up and go....it's so important.  I workout twice a week for now....exercising helps your mood and helps you sleep better...anything works, but the excuses have to stop....which brings me to my next point.

6- time-- yeah we are busy. This is the number one excuse of WHY we don't take care of ourselves. We are too busy, we don't have time.  I hear this a lot from moms that say 'I'm taking care of my kids, I don't have to take care of myself, at least you don't have kids and don't have responsibilities...you have more time for this'. HELLO MYTH OF ME BEING CHILDLESS.  Yah, after sitting through my awful commutes daily and getting home at 7-730pm the LAST THING i want to do is to move or go to the gym.  We have to make adjustments in our schedule...do little things....even if going out for a walk the kids--you're moving...or playing with your kids at the playground, you're moving.  If you don't make time for OURSELVES, we will be a huge disservice to our family and other people who rely on us for care.  There is time in the day...we're the ones not using time efficiently.

7- being realistic with goals-  I said that I wanted to lose 35 lbs by my birthday in July...right now I know that's not realistic because I would have to lose an additional 15 lbs in 3 weeks by probably starving myself by going on one of those cleanses. I choose to lose weight the healthy way and even if I'm not losing weight on a weekly basis, I may be losing inches and must make sure I'm making the right choices with food and exercise.  I also have to be realistic with my time.  As of now I cannot commit more than two days a week at the gym but I know that I'm moving around a lot on Saturdays while running errands....I know that I can go for a quick walk during my lunch break to keep moving.  staying realistic and true to the goals makes this whole process a little easier.  

thanks for sticking with me through this long post, I felt I needed to share and I hope to come back to this post on any day I feel like I'm about to give up to remind myself how and why i started to live the healthy lifestyle again.  


Monday, March 10, 2014

Son of God- my perspective

Last Friday night over 100 youth from my church gathered to go watch the film Son of God.  I walked into the theater pleased to see so many youth come together to watch the latest film from Hollywood about Jesus Christ.   Our group and another church group had a private screening of this film.  It was nice to see everyone come together.   Then the film began....

We were brought into a political struggle between the Roman government and Jewish citizens, showing the persecution of the people, and within that we had the context of the High Priests staying in favor of Pontius Pilate for their own survival.  Then there was Jesus Christ---to me he was portrayed as a friend, the kind of guy you would want to hang out with, the rebel against the Jewish High Priests.  The film begins with John the Evangelist reading off chapter 1 of his gospel and we were brought into the life of Jesus Christ---and then the inaccuracies began.

My issues with this movie were the inaccuracies of Biblical text.  So many have argued with me saying that Hollywood adaptations of books are normally incorrect, so I should be happy that there is something out there that shows Jesus in a good light.  My response to this is the following: The Bible isn't any normal book out there, it's a Holy Book and if you're going to depict the events and sayings of a Holy Book, do it accurately--audiences deserve the truth, accuracy and honor of the adaptation of the Word.   If this movie is going to be used as a teaching tool of the Gospel, then we have failed accurately teaching the Word of God.  I am aware of the various English translations of the Bible that are floating in this world.  Which brings me to another point?  Are we trying to be accurate in finding the true translation?    I mean stuff was so far off like telling Peter "Let's Change the World"--I nearly had an aneurysm and had to stuff more popcorn in my face in order to calm myself down.  Or the part where Jesus tells Nicodemus in the film 'You must be born again of spirit'.--right there is a heresy on it's own completely changing John 3:5 verse in order to fit the interpretation of the producers of the film.  Also for drama effects, Jesus told St. Mary 'With God all things are possible' as he was dragging the cross. NO IT WASNT SAID AT THAT TIME.   There were other things that bothered me but will not go into detail for now.  The lack of accuracy pretty much angered me because I felt it's misleading to the so many people who have spent money to watch a film on Jesus.

The cool parts of the movie was seeing some 'miracles' in action--ie feeding of five thousand and the healing of the paralytic man brought through the roof.  Seeing this put to visuals helped me see the story from a different perspective.  I like the raising of Lazarus scene but the inaccuracy of how he was brought back to life, killed it for me completely.

Many have argued with me about my views regarding this movie because I should be thankful that Hollywood has produced a successful Jesus movie that can move the hearts of people and teach others about our faith.  I believe the vast majority who will see this movie are Christians themselves who are uninterested about the accuracy of Biblical text for the sake of the general joy that Jesus is portrayed in a good light.   If you encourage people to go see this movie, I would recommend that you tell them to watch with caution since there are inaccuracies and not take everything as the 'Word'.

I personally would not recommend people to see this film (yes go throw tomatoes at me and call me names).  It can cause confusion with the gross Biblical inaccuracies.  I wish there was more attention paid to the Scripture instead of just really odd interpretations---or at least the film makers should have added a pretext that this is their interpretation of the Life of Jesus.  If you want to spread the Gospel and the Word, do it right.  Don't act on people's emotions and acting to attract people.  Our church forefathers fought tooth and nail to preserve the faith.  It's so easy for us to go with the majority saying that details don't matter, it's the big picture.  However I feel strongly the opposite...the details do matter and they can blossom into something bigger.