the title of this post comes from the psalms....this is the theme of my own experience this time around at the texas monastery in sandia, tx. i went with 32 rowdy people and to be honest i thought that this time would be miserable...i mean on the plane going there im surprised they didn't land the plane because the group was so noisy, but as we got there as a loud group, i did manage to get away and enjoy the stillness....i miss that stillness because so often here in nyc, we are on the constant go. it's that stillness where we hear God speaking to us instead of us always talking. the words of the Bible jump out, the prayers mean more because im just more focused....the first morning i sat in the cold attempting to do my quiet time and i watched the sunrise...another day i sat in the afternoon, also in the cold watching the stillness...i was reading the sermon on the mount that afternoon...and no matter how many times ive read the sermon on the mount, this time i felt God telling me how He wants me to conduct myself as a Christian. it's so easy to say that I am Christian, but if I'm not still, I often drown out God's voice rushing from point A to point B.
i miss that stillness and i long for it everyday since i got back...the last day we were there...the lake had this eerie stillness as if it was a painting, not a real lake...God is truly an author of beauty and He made this world in an amazing way with such detail and precision...I'm reminded again in the gospel of Matthew that God knows the numbers of hair on my head....this to the human brain--the thinking is very limited, but we tend to forget amidst the craziness that God is infinite. It takes getting out of our bubbles to realize that really it's God carrying us in the palm of His hand, not us trying to handle the world on our shoulders...it was peaceful and definitely life changing...
now i try to hold onto that stillness on a daily basis...so that I am once again reminded that God is so loving and infinite and is taking care of me....
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
2009--different year
this final year of the decade was a different year. it started out with the loss of one of the most special people in my life--my grandma. i still cannot express in words my feelings of her loss here on earth, but i do know that her suffering in her sickness was for God's glory and that i need to learn a lot of the Christian virtues she had. one of them forgiveness....i believe this virtue was tested all throughout 2009...relationships with friends and family were examined and in many ways i felt wronged or neglected in someway. these feelings even led me to question my own relationship with God and i found myself in a place where i started to deny the love of God in my own life. i learned a valuable lesson though...the more i examined myself and my actions, i am not a perfect person, far from it. the verse 'love covers a multitude of sins' has been my theme for the ending part of 2009. as I am not a perfect person, God covers me and my sins out of His undying love for me. this example i must do with others. a way to deal with this is to just not focus so much on the error someone did to me, but rather focus on how much God has mercy on me and that i should do the same for others. i hear a lot of the arabic expressions of 'fawitty' or '3adeeha'...and while in my hurt sometimes it's very hard, i learned it is the only way to overcome the hurt.
i can sit all day and discuss the virtues my grandma had, but this one tops it all...so as 2010 is a mere 4 days away, i can say that my year of struggle has yielded positive hopes for the coming year.
i can sit all day and discuss the virtues my grandma had, but this one tops it all...so as 2010 is a mere 4 days away, i can say that my year of struggle has yielded positive hopes for the coming year.
Monday, December 21, 2009
2010
i really can't believe that a decade has passed....i was in college in 1999 having the time of my life. the year 2000 was very significant as my first relationship ended which was very difficult for me. i set out that year to do something new with myself and i somehow ended up in morocco for 3 months. that unforgettable trip was amazing but it also taught me that no matter how far i go, issues that i face don't go away by just hopping on a plane....
so in the year 2010, i seek to reinvent myself...thankfully this time there are no relationships that have ended (actually it's a drought on my end)...but in this drought, i want to look at my singleness as a rainy season of opportunities...
here are some goals for 2010...
1- yes the one everyone has--lose weight...i love to eat and i eat when im happy and sad...so i want to learn to find new ways of eating yummy things but that don't add onto the winter padding...i also need to COMMIT to exercising...
2- cooking: this year my grandma past away and i have to tell you, she was an amazing cook...after her death, i went into the kitched with my mom and made macarona bashamel, that turned out really yummy....i realized that i do have a talent for cooking HOWEVER, just like everything else in my life, i have no patience...so the film julie and julia inspired me....i want to be a good cook and make yummy things, although im finding that this particular goal may not be compatible with number 1, i may have to find receipes that are not as fattening as julia child's...so for now i will watch her and chef jacques pepin...God help me
3- this actually should have been number 1....not 3....delighting in the Lord....i find myself wanting to be distracted by so many things...this cooking thing could be a distraction, but again my lack of commitment to cooking and exercising is because i can just can't commit to God...i seek during 2010 that it will be a year of growth delighting in Him, even though there may be a man drought...LOL
so those are my thoughts and i hope that this blog keep me on track to do such things...
oh and of course traveling...im kinda broke at this point to do that right now...although i would like to revisit austria and paris again....my last trip was to ft lauderdale...i have to say i loved it and i wouldnt mind moving there :)
so in the year 2010, i seek to reinvent myself...thankfully this time there are no relationships that have ended (actually it's a drought on my end)...but in this drought, i want to look at my singleness as a rainy season of opportunities...
here are some goals for 2010...
1- yes the one everyone has--lose weight...i love to eat and i eat when im happy and sad...so i want to learn to find new ways of eating yummy things but that don't add onto the winter padding...i also need to COMMIT to exercising...
2- cooking: this year my grandma past away and i have to tell you, she was an amazing cook...after her death, i went into the kitched with my mom and made macarona bashamel, that turned out really yummy....i realized that i do have a talent for cooking HOWEVER, just like everything else in my life, i have no patience...so the film julie and julia inspired me....i want to be a good cook and make yummy things, although im finding that this particular goal may not be compatible with number 1, i may have to find receipes that are not as fattening as julia child's...so for now i will watch her and chef jacques pepin...God help me
3- this actually should have been number 1....not 3....delighting in the Lord....i find myself wanting to be distracted by so many things...this cooking thing could be a distraction, but again my lack of commitment to cooking and exercising is because i can just can't commit to God...i seek during 2010 that it will be a year of growth delighting in Him, even though there may be a man drought...LOL
so those are my thoughts and i hope that this blog keep me on track to do such things...
oh and of course traveling...im kinda broke at this point to do that right now...although i would like to revisit austria and paris again....my last trip was to ft lauderdale...i have to say i loved it and i wouldnt mind moving there :)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
UN--to be or not to be isolationist
i walked into my office this morning listening to my boss go off about how the UN should be abolished and the current area should be converted into condos...my argument was that despite the lack of accomplishments, it's the only entity that allows for 191 + countries to get together and have a dialogue...
there's always that argument that the US is the dominant figure in the world and we shouldnt have to engage in such dialogue...while i agree that the US is a dominant figure, i think we need to learn from our foreign counterparts...i learned this especially on of course...my travels...
in europe i have visited the following countries: england, spain, france, switzerland, austria, the czech republic and italy....all of these countries had their time as a superpower and now are part of the european union where there's a fine line between the economic and cultural boundaries....the one thing i think americans can take away from these countries in the european union is to take some time and smell the flowers....the amount of cafes and open gardens in these countries just amazed me...and people do not work as much as americans do. yes we are a superpower because the amount of work we produce, but we do not know how to relax... how many of us leave work and go straight to a cafe and read a book or meet a friend? most of the time, we're running home or running to the next church meeting event/service and we forget that it's okay to just take about an hour out of our day to slow down...we can put down our blackberries, iphones, and other technologies that are supposed to keep us in touch but in fact create a reality where we are really far removed from the face to face contact.
while we are the current superpower, we do not want exhaustion be the reason for our downfall...we can work hard but at the same time IT'S OKAY TO RELAX...
enjoy watching the spectle for the next week with the UN General Assembly where figures like Gaddafi, who gave a very bizarre speech, are entertained in the great nation and the best city on this earth :)
there's always that argument that the US is the dominant figure in the world and we shouldnt have to engage in such dialogue...while i agree that the US is a dominant figure, i think we need to learn from our foreign counterparts...i learned this especially on of course...my travels...
in europe i have visited the following countries: england, spain, france, switzerland, austria, the czech republic and italy....all of these countries had their time as a superpower and now are part of the european union where there's a fine line between the economic and cultural boundaries....the one thing i think americans can take away from these countries in the european union is to take some time and smell the flowers....the amount of cafes and open gardens in these countries just amazed me...and people do not work as much as americans do. yes we are a superpower because the amount of work we produce, but we do not know how to relax... how many of us leave work and go straight to a cafe and read a book or meet a friend? most of the time, we're running home or running to the next church meeting event/service and we forget that it's okay to just take about an hour out of our day to slow down...we can put down our blackberries, iphones, and other technologies that are supposed to keep us in touch but in fact create a reality where we are really far removed from the face to face contact.
while we are the current superpower, we do not want exhaustion be the reason for our downfall...we can work hard but at the same time IT'S OKAY TO RELAX...
enjoy watching the spectle for the next week with the UN General Assembly where figures like Gaddafi, who gave a very bizarre speech, are entertained in the great nation and the best city on this earth :)
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
traveling don'ts
okay so something quick about san antonio before i go into this...
san antonio...don't go in the summer, it's mad hot...however try going when the weather is nice and be sure to take the small boat tour around...i didnt stay long enough to try each restaurant (im sure if i did, i would be 500 lbs).
now to the point of this post...some traveling don'ts...and this came from my last two trips ive been on...first i went to florida for a weekend and then i went to minneapolis, mn for a wedding.
1- don't pack everything...honestly this was a huge mistake going to florida and i could have saved the $30 roundtrip to check in my bag...pack what you need an maybe one extra outfit...i learned this for minnesota and it made life easier.
2- here is where it gets interesting: when your instinct tells you something is wrong, something is wrong...
i was in minneapolis, mn the weekend of sept 11th to celebrate my friend nate's wedding...we've been friends since we were neighbors our freshman year of college at GW...so it was important to fly out to his wedding...the first night we were there, the bride and groom decided to meet all of the out of towners at a hotel bar/restaurant on the second floor of the grand hotel in minneapolis. we were basically the only group there (just to show you how happenin downton minny is at night)...i had placed my purse in front of me on a small couch and subsuquently others did, because hey, 'it was in our sight'...
some random guy came into our circle and he leaned into my purse (may i note my purse didnt have a zipper)...and he grabbed my wrislet (although i didnt exactly see it come out of the purse) i felt something wrong...then he saw how irritated i was...i grabbed my purse and started looking through it (it was large)...i didnt want to accuse him right then and there because i didnt discover that it was gone as of yet and i didnt want him to think i was racist. as i discovered it wasn't there...he was already gone...
so my friend alison's boyfriend, anthony, ran with me into the street to find this criminal while alison reported this to the front desk. apparently they were no help as they refused to call police...the valet staff outside helped me run after the guy about 2 blocks where we lost him and we immediately called 911...
the minneapolis pd came...and they went around the block. anthony found the criminal two blocks down but he himself was in danger of getting mugged so he backed off but got the license plate and make of the car. anthony came running back to the hotel where i was giving my statement to the minneapolis pd, who refused to go in pursuit...fat women police officers who are lazy shouldnt really be police officers...she didnt take my statement but the other police officer who couldnt keep up with me talking about 90mph while i was cancelling all my credit cards...
i sat in the street on a chair in disbelief of what had just happened and cancelling everything...i had to compose myself to get back into the hotel where the party was still happening. i got my purse and went back to my own hotel...marriott city center..which by the way their lobby is on the 5th floor, i guess for security reasons...
i learned a couple of things from my experience...
1- always carry extra cash with you separate from your wallet
2- do not put all credit cards in your wallet...
3- get a zipper purse...it's harder for someone poke in there...
4- when traveling, carry a copy separate from your wallet of any gov't issued ID or if abroad...carry a copy of your passport...
this experience definetely shook me up, however at the same time it opened my eyes into all the wrongs...be more vigilant..and you can be robbed in places where you think it's safe!
san antonio...don't go in the summer, it's mad hot...however try going when the weather is nice and be sure to take the small boat tour around...i didnt stay long enough to try each restaurant (im sure if i did, i would be 500 lbs).
now to the point of this post...some traveling don'ts...and this came from my last two trips ive been on...first i went to florida for a weekend and then i went to minneapolis, mn for a wedding.
1- don't pack everything...honestly this was a huge mistake going to florida and i could have saved the $30 roundtrip to check in my bag...pack what you need an maybe one extra outfit...i learned this for minnesota and it made life easier.
2- here is where it gets interesting: when your instinct tells you something is wrong, something is wrong...
i was in minneapolis, mn the weekend of sept 11th to celebrate my friend nate's wedding...we've been friends since we were neighbors our freshman year of college at GW...so it was important to fly out to his wedding...the first night we were there, the bride and groom decided to meet all of the out of towners at a hotel bar/restaurant on the second floor of the grand hotel in minneapolis. we were basically the only group there (just to show you how happenin downton minny is at night)...i had placed my purse in front of me on a small couch and subsuquently others did, because hey, 'it was in our sight'...
some random guy came into our circle and he leaned into my purse (may i note my purse didnt have a zipper)...and he grabbed my wrislet (although i didnt exactly see it come out of the purse) i felt something wrong...then he saw how irritated i was...i grabbed my purse and started looking through it (it was large)...i didnt want to accuse him right then and there because i didnt discover that it was gone as of yet and i didnt want him to think i was racist. as i discovered it wasn't there...he was already gone...
so my friend alison's boyfriend, anthony, ran with me into the street to find this criminal while alison reported this to the front desk. apparently they were no help as they refused to call police...the valet staff outside helped me run after the guy about 2 blocks where we lost him and we immediately called 911...
the minneapolis pd came...and they went around the block. anthony found the criminal two blocks down but he himself was in danger of getting mugged so he backed off but got the license plate and make of the car. anthony came running back to the hotel where i was giving my statement to the minneapolis pd, who refused to go in pursuit...fat women police officers who are lazy shouldnt really be police officers...she didnt take my statement but the other police officer who couldnt keep up with me talking about 90mph while i was cancelling all my credit cards...
i sat in the street on a chair in disbelief of what had just happened and cancelling everything...i had to compose myself to get back into the hotel where the party was still happening. i got my purse and went back to my own hotel...marriott city center..which by the way their lobby is on the 5th floor, i guess for security reasons...
i learned a couple of things from my experience...
1- always carry extra cash with you separate from your wallet
2- do not put all credit cards in your wallet...
3- get a zipper purse...it's harder for someone poke in there...
4- when traveling, carry a copy separate from your wallet of any gov't issued ID or if abroad...carry a copy of your passport...
this experience definetely shook me up, however at the same time it opened my eyes into all the wrongs...be more vigilant..and you can be robbed in places where you think it's safe!
Monday, August 10, 2009
traveling...
so i havent been blogging because i really dont know what to talk or write about...however most people say that im such a traveler since i really dont know how to stay in one spot...im going to dedicate the next several blogs to my travels over the past two years and will start with the most recent trips...i just booked tampa, florida literally minutes ago...and will be going back to minneapolis, minnesota for round two....stay tuned for the next post...san antonio, texas...
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