some days arent the best

The other day I had the most awesome opportunity to use friends during for a photo shoot. It was my first photo shoot using my camera in manual mode. I was really excited and so were there. As I kept snapping I noticed I had major lighting issues, my subjects (friends) were either too light or too dark. I was getting frustrated. I started questioning my talent for photography and felt a little down. I can't give up though. I was really humbled knowing that there's just a lot to learn and also that my friends are supporting my hobby. Many people have been telling me that I should start a side business but I feel at this point in time it would take the fun out of what I love to do. There's something about capturing a moment at the right time (with of course the right exposure)....At the end of the day I realized that all photographers go through this....there are some bad/off days, but I did manage to come out with some nice shots.

I have a new respect for photographers who do shoots for a living...there is so much effort and pressure to make sure that the image is perfect.

photo love

so much has happened this year and i haven't kept up on this blog to document the egyptian revolution and the aftermath that basically brought out all sorts of skeletons in the closet. one of which including that the egyptian interior ministry was behind the bombing in alexandria....there was an earthquake in japan followed by a tsunami...one of the worst disasters recorded....

however behind the current events, i started to do something that i love....photography. i started taking classes. i was so scared my first day not knowing if i would make friends or even if i would be good at it. it turns out, i have made new friends, and i find some sort of refuge by taking photos. this past weekend i had an amazing backdrop to actually snap in manual mode....and i impressed myself, although others haven't stopped with the critiques. all those photo lovers with point and shoot...you're missing out on manual mode...the reason being...you have extra creative control....

so hopefully ill post more about my experience, it's truly amazing for me :)

2011 has begun with the blood of the martyrs

It was around this time last year or so, mid-December of 2009, the Virgin Mary appeared at her church in Warraq, Cairo....everyone was so happy and for a minute Egypt was united with this amazing sight in the sky. Knowing that the heavenly came to the earthly was comforting for all. Then the first of a series of disasters struck as parishioners were coming out of Christmas liturgy on 7 January 2010 in the southern city of Nagga Hammadi...6 people died as a result of a shooting and others were injured. Until today the people who committed these crimes have not faced a trial. Throughout 2010 a series events occurred with the final straw in November in Omranaya, Giza where the government detained over 100 persons over an issue dealing with an improper permit of expanding the church...this prompted protests and the government used tear gas and force against those people who exercised their frustration over an antiquated law to build/repair churches....this sparked protests all over the world, including in NYC. The bishops across the United States participated in an ecumenical prayer service with a powerful speech given by HG Bishop Suriel outlining the Coptic frustration.

Then the unthinkable happened just after midnight at the Saints Church in Alexandria. As the congregation was praying 'Holy Holy Holy, Lord of Hosts Heaven and Earth are full of Your Holy glory' a bomb went off right outside of the church. Hysteria struck and the priest told the congregation 'Don't be scared, there's nothing'--he didn't know at that point what had happened but out of his leadership, he tried to calm the people down and continued praying the conclusion hymn.

Our Coptic community over the past couple of days has faced many sad emotions...however I feel that we can take several things from the series of events.

1- Uniting in the body of Christ--- this is a time for us to ask about those who you haven't seen in awhile....it is a time for our gatherings to have a Christ centered foundation instead of all play and jokes...it is a time for us to unite together in prayer...over the past year I've seen so many divisions within churches that has caused people to stray because they don't feel the love of Christ....time for us to unite again

2- ‘Thus says the LORD of hosts: “Return to Me,” says the LORD of hosts, “and I will return to you,” says the LORD of hosts.---Zechariah 1:3 It is a time for us to once again to return and cling to Him, no matter what wrong we have done. We are sick and He is the Physician of our souls and bodies.

3- Live a life preparing for the kingdom of heaven....we only remember this when disaster strikes. I remember after 9/11 I struggled with the thought of 'why not me and why others?'....God is giving us a chance to renew our lives in Him....we live in a world filled with distractions from God.

4- Show love--I know I emphasized in my first point, but I've seen a lot of anti-Muslim messages on Facebook. I really don't think this helps the situation but only adds fuel to the fire. Christianity is based on love...the easiest Bible verse we remember as kids "God is love"--showing hatred against a religion goes against our beliefs. We only hate the sin and not the sinner...the power of love of God is what moves people's hearts back to God. As Nahed said at our church a couple of months ago...we don't live in God's grace and His love on a daily basis....she converted based on love from another Christian.

We know the heavenly church is standing with us, I don't believe that St Mary's apparition was an accident. I believe the heavenly church is praying for us in front of the throne of God. Our newest martyrs are doing the same for us now. They are living in peace, let's try to do the same 'on earth as it is heaven' and live by the words of the hymn the congregation was singing during the blast praising God saying 'heaven and earth are full of Your Holy glory'

Keep the faith, keep the love and keep praying

2010-a year in review a bit early

so i just scrolled through my blog to what i wrote last year about my hopes and dreams for 2010....but again I always see how God has a different plan for me. yesterday, the NYC area was hit with a nasty rain and wind storm, but at the end there was a beautiful peaceful sky with clouds and the sun coming through during sunset....some rainbows were spotted in some areas....we had many storms similar to this throughout the year both literally and figuratively in 2010...so while the year has some 29 days left, i thought it was appropriate to write now after going through yesterday's storm.

the year started off on the right track with the theme of renewal. i witnessed a vietnamese girl in her 20s get baptized and this experience moved every cell in body...the acceptance of faith and that Christ is the one who saved us on the cross for our salvation....this raw faith, we lack as those who were 'born' into it from our parents. i am very lucky to be a christian however, I dont appreciate it or lose faith easily....it was an awesome way to start off the year....

Things turned left on Jan 7th, when we learned of the shootings in Naga Hammadi as people were leaving Christmas mass, followed by a shattering earthquake to hit the countries of Haiti and Chile....the month of January which started off as a theme of renewal, quickly turned into a huge unknown. I was overwhelmed by these events happening one after the other...more storms were to hit later on in the year between talks of wars, the Gulf oil leak, more persecution of Christians in the Middle East, and other events. This was the storm of the year in terms of current events.

On the home front, there is another storm brewing....the storm of busyness, and disconnection from each other. I had the opportunity to leave NY at three points to El Paso, St. Thomas/St. John and Spain. I met people in all three places which embodied one theme--Simplicity. El Paso is not exactly heaven on earth...it is the frontline on the war on the Mexican drug cartels...I was told not to go out at night...but in general life there is simple without the crime and the food was delicious. While visiting St. Thomas, I took a day tour of the island of St. John which is 60-70% uninhabited....our tour guide's name was Charlie. What a simple man....along the way he stopped at random trees and fed us fruits straight from the trees...nothing like what we have here in NYC...but what struck me the most was his happy and simple personality...as he drove us around, he blasted carribbean music, but listening carefully to it, it was Christian music...He praised God during his job and wanted to spread his joy to others....I was touched by this.... Then as you saw in my previous post on el sabor was my day in the mountains...again i saw simplicity. Coming back to NYC, I had a hard time adjusting because we dont enjoy life and the things God has given to us in a positive way. We have 200 ways of keeping in touch with our tech devices, but the words 'I'm busy' keep coming out....we lack love and simplicity in our lives. So by the end of the year, I've witnessed the breakdown of many friendships within the body of Christ...why is this? We're not touched by Christ's love as the convert was at the beginning of this year....we feel that in the rush of things that no one cares, so if no one cares, why should we care? I hope for 2011 it will be a year of not just renewal in Christ, that we are all touched in someway that awakens us to His love and His healing just like the lady in the Gospel of Luke was cured from bleeding just by the touch of His garb....We need to have that faith that if we want to be healed, we will be healed....

So at the end of the day, this year I believe was the turbulent storm year, I pray that next year is when the rainbows and the beautiful sunsets that bring peace, serenity and hope.

el sabor

sabor is the spanish word for flavor, and that pretty sums up my trip. but the thing that stuck with me was the day in a remote village learning about spanish cooking. this class though for me, was more about the flavor of not just of cooking, but for living a simple life. you see, this lady who owns this humble restaurant only cooked with ingredients from the current season....so we had artichokes, green and red peppers in the ingredients, and using their natural flavors, gave flavor to the bacalau and the rice and beef dish we ate. later on we had some tea and got to explore a small river..that was the town's 'beach'. i felt like i was in heaven....the very simple and basic things in life is what gave this small town flavor. i didn't have my phone, nor access to the computer but enjoyed the nature and the sound of the small river nearby. i didn't want to leave. i was so happy. i believe that's the flavor that we miss out on...the flavor of simplicity, whether if it's from using the natural ingredients, or just being in a natural space that God created for us.... God provides for us in so many ways. in this little remote town people are happy with their lives and dont have a reason to leave. fresh water comes from the mountains, food is provided from the ground....God provides. i think in the noisiness and busyness....we forget this concept of how God provides and we tend to rely on our own self to be able to function and that's why we are thirsting and we lack flavor. i will carry this peace and flavor that i gained as a piece of heaven in my heart....

laundry, pack, travel, unpack--repeat

it's been a long time, but for the past month i think i've done the title of this particular post about four times. i went to el paso for a week, came home for a day then headed to st. thomas, came back, went on a retreat, came home and now i just arrived in marabella, spain.

each of these destinations i can write a book about, but i guess thing i hate about going on vacation is the actual getting there. i had a bit of a nightmare getting to el paso, and about 16 hrs later, i arrived after getting up at the crack of dawn to find that my flight was cancelled. thankfully after quick thinking and desperation, american airlines got me to my destination, but the trip to el paso was almost as long as my trip to marabella, spain. why is getting to a particular destination have to be drama filled? thankfully the trip to st. thomas was without incident but again it's getting there....

i just arrived in the city of marabella, spain at the hotel 3pm local time....i left my house in ny 1pm the previous day and the only sleep i got was about 35 min waiting for a connecting flight in madrid....

here are some travel tips to make things less stressful:
1- try booking direct and if you have a flexible schedule, make sure you do so. this makes life so much easier...the connections drag things out and you end up spending money you don't have out of boredom.
2- make sure your carry-ons dont weigh a ton (like mine, i travel heavy unfortunately)
3- bring your own travel pillow and blankets....the airlines dont cut it and who knows if they actually wash them..(ew)
4- eat before your flight....airplane food is nasty and if you are traveling inter-Europe, some airlines (like Iberia and Air Europa) charge for you asking for a coke
5- plan for the unexpected....i have this 'you never know attitude'.
6- a good book or distraction....
7- have a camera handy...i just bought a new dslr (which will be a total separate blog to speak about)....you never know what interesting things you may or may not see....madrid airport had gorgeous ceilings but my lack of sleep inhibited me from enjoying it or taking pictures.
8- make a tentative plan of what you want to do before you...this makes life a little easier, so you're not clueless and waste time at your destination, sure i like to be spontenaous, but i hate to miss out on time where i can be enjoying a different culture...


i will blog soon about the places ive visited...el paso was the least exciting, yet one of the yummiest trips :) st thomas--took a piece of my heart and marabella...well spain is spain and i feel like im unlocking a beautiful mystery

hasta luego!

in the company of 720 persons

this past weekend i had the opportunity to attend the st. mark dc's passion retreat. this particular retreat has had a special place for me since these retreats were an awesome opportunity to get away, spend time with God and have fellowship with the good folks of DC. mid decade i stopped going because of grad school and just continual commitments. last year i decided to go and 400 people showed up and i was impressed by this...
then i showed up this year and i was told 720 were in attendance...and i freaked out. this wasnt my idea of a retreat but rather of a convention style. i was impressed again when abouna mentioned that it was time for quiet time, there was not one peep out of the 700 + people. no one spoke and everyone got to spend time with God. while the retreat/convention had a nice theme, great talks...i found myself overwhelmed with the amount of people there and found it difficult to withdraw into silent mode....many people who i knew were there and on sunday some had said that they didnt see me all weekend....i left this weekend feeling a little disappointed about this particular year because of all the people until last night when i sat down to reflect on the weekend.
1- this is the only retreat that has brought people from all of the the US, Canada, England, Germany, and Australia and other countries that I may not have been aware of....
2- people are hungry and thirsty to hear God's word and for a spiritual retreat
3- we are one big happy family in Christ....

with regards to number 2, ive been thinking about people in the graduate stage...many probably serve in their own churches and many don't and i believe this is often a forgotten group in the church that definitely needs service. the presence of 720 person showed that need for a spiritual retreat. i thank st. mark dc for organizing this and for inviting the world to crash on their church retreat for the grads. maybe this retreat will double in size again for next year, but for now we pray that God has planted the seed in His children...they all came for spiritual nourishment that may not be given in their own churches so i hope there are more spiritual activities and focus for our graduate youth who are now slowly starting to become the leaders of the church (just look at the priest ordinations).