i've been avoiding this topic or speaking exclusively about this on my blog for many reasons. however after having so many conversations with people, i think it is time i addressed this issue from solely my perspective with some input from conversations ive had over the past month or so. as always i would like to keep my blog as positive as possible because i feel that we tend to just look at the negative side, however im not going to make this another rosey 'God has a plan' for you type of post. While I firmly believe in God's plan for us, I also believe that some issues need to be addressed.
so yes, i'm over 30, single, Egyptian Coptic American. I'm proud of my status. Our community puts pressure on people like myself asking 'what happened? why aren't you married yet? you're too picky' and hear a whole load of unsolicited comments about my single state. every wedding is a nightmare because you are met with these comments and because you're not married, you get seated with much younger people since all your friends are married. okay i cope and move on...
then i watch CTV--the coptic channel...where i hear bishops and priests talk about this impending 'crisis' that there are so many single women over 30 not married and that the church must get to the bottom of this. hence, there is a convention sponsored by one of the diocese entitle something like 'struggles of a single coptic orthodox christian' for single copts 30 and over. I was told I should attend and when I looked at the flyer my reaction was 'you gotta be kidding me'.
I appreciate that the church is trying to help us over 30 single folk get married, but im kinda sick and tired that the single status is being treated like a disease. It isn't a crisis, it is just a reality that many of us decided not to lower our standards to marry just anyone, we didn't rush because we were focused on our careers and studies and one thing, we refuse to get married to a guy that just wanted to use us as a ticket to America. There's nothing wrong with that and instead of being treated like that we have leprosy, we should be treated with respect. We don't need to be reminded every second while in the church that we need to get married and that there is something wrong with that and because we're single it doesn't mean we don't have lives.
I recently have taken up photography as a hobby, it's great...it doesn't define who I am, but it definitely adds a fresh perspective on life. There's more to life than just getting married and having kids. I really think that everyone has a different path in life and it just so happens that the issue of marriage is delayed for me for a reason only God knows.
Again I appreciate the efforts of the church, but I wish it wasn't so reactionary. We need to have more social gatherings, but not with just getting all single people into one room. Many of us have life balance issues or could be looking into getting into another career field. Focus on that...focus on our spirits that that we are not reminded every second that we are the outcasts...priests shouldn't be asking every second 'haaa fee haga gadeeda?'...I will let you know if there is...but for now...leave everyone alone...give us the spiritual support that we need instead of scrambling to be matchmakers (which most often than not tends to be disastrous...everyone is good in the eyes of a priest).
I have to say while I do struggle a lot, I'm also extremely thankful. You'll hear many people like me say that. We are not in unhealthy relationships, nor are we stuck with someone that we dont want to be, and we know what we want. I'm thankful that God has give me the opportunity to do things in life like travel and serve. I know my path is different than others, I just ask for support instead of just stating the obvious. Believe me when I say, God protects and God knows exactly what we are feeling. It's normal to lose hope, because our culture does a number on us...we have a tendency to look at what others have and not focus on ourselves. Because so and so got married at 25 and has 3 kids by 32, doesn't mean I am the same. It's also saddening when I hear our younger generation like ages 8-10 say that people must get married by 25. I know 25 is old in their mind, but what are the parents teaching them? It's the same attitude that has put our mature single community stereotype that there's something wrong if you're not married by a certain age. We need to instead educate our kids about how God is truly in control of life and that not every Egyptian is meant to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or a pharmacist (with all due respect to those professions). We have to stop putting everyone into a box because the reality is--people are living outside the box doing different things, getting new degrees, traveling the world to serve and learn from different cultures. So I refuse to succumb to the uneducated mentality that my goal in life is to just get married. The goal in life is find my way to eternal life, so my way is different than yours. I respect yours, so respect mine.
in conclusion, i welcome new ways of making the single life more acceptable in our community. it shouldn't be a moseeba, but rather something that people should be proud of. For my single community of friends---i know we will continue to have great conversations and be a support to each other. For my married friends--I love you as well, but please be more understanding and empathetic. To the church--don't be reactionary...be supportive...
Friday, August 12, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
stop, drop and roll
every year while i was in elementary school, the local fire department came by the school to educate us what do to do when theres a fire. one of them was stop, drop and roll. you stop what you're doing, drop to the ground and roll on the floor to get rid of the flames. thankfully i have never been in a fire, nor plan on being in one...however this technique was needed for my life..i haven't been blogging since elevator follies, so that i could do just that.
life before my stop drop and roll...has been crazy. i was running around like a crazy person doing everything for everyone and not taking care of myself. this sounds so familiar to so many people...because it happens to everyone. it got to a point where i was not benefitting from my church service and all i wanted to do was give up...i didn't understand why God wasn't helping me out with anything and i started to build a resentment towards God....so i stopped...i got to sit with my father of confession..and if anyone is against talking to a priest or a spiritual guide...you're definitely missing out. it was one of those really tough conversations but i came out feeling like i just unloaded everything that was on my heart and a sense of peace that everything was going to be OKAY.
next i dropped--i went on vacation. i dropped everything at home, work, service and life to embark on an 8 day adventure to Florida with two of my friends. i really can't tell you how much i needed this. every day was the same, wake up, eat, beach/pool, eat, sleep...it was great. i didnt have to run anywhere to be anywhere and at night we got to walk along the beach. one thing i miss is getting in touch with God's creation of this earth...where ever you are a simple walk does it. whether you're in a city, beach, mountains, suburbs, anywhere...these walks are quiet times...
i came back rolling--i felt like i got the flames off of me and i was literally ready to roll, but coming back i dealt with going back to the old ways again before i went on vacation. this time for me was different. i am saying NO to things that i know i cannot humanly possibly do. saying NO is very hard for me because i always like to help out, but i found out that it's okay to say NO if it's really going to make me feel miserable. also im trying to keep up with what makes me happy. going out in small groups, long walks and of course photography. i cannot lose myself in the busyness again. i need to stay connected to the things that make me happy. most importantly--taking care of myself.
so the fire department was right in one thing...the stop, drop and roll technique really does work...it works when there's a fire in your life.
life before my stop drop and roll...has been crazy. i was running around like a crazy person doing everything for everyone and not taking care of myself. this sounds so familiar to so many people...because it happens to everyone. it got to a point where i was not benefitting from my church service and all i wanted to do was give up...i didn't understand why God wasn't helping me out with anything and i started to build a resentment towards God....so i stopped...i got to sit with my father of confession..and if anyone is against talking to a priest or a spiritual guide...you're definitely missing out. it was one of those really tough conversations but i came out feeling like i just unloaded everything that was on my heart and a sense of peace that everything was going to be OKAY.
next i dropped--i went on vacation. i dropped everything at home, work, service and life to embark on an 8 day adventure to Florida with two of my friends. i really can't tell you how much i needed this. every day was the same, wake up, eat, beach/pool, eat, sleep...it was great. i didnt have to run anywhere to be anywhere and at night we got to walk along the beach. one thing i miss is getting in touch with God's creation of this earth...where ever you are a simple walk does it. whether you're in a city, beach, mountains, suburbs, anywhere...these walks are quiet times...
i came back rolling--i felt like i got the flames off of me and i was literally ready to roll, but coming back i dealt with going back to the old ways again before i went on vacation. this time for me was different. i am saying NO to things that i know i cannot humanly possibly do. saying NO is very hard for me because i always like to help out, but i found out that it's okay to say NO if it's really going to make me feel miserable. also im trying to keep up with what makes me happy. going out in small groups, long walks and of course photography. i cannot lose myself in the busyness again. i need to stay connected to the things that make me happy. most importantly--taking care of myself.
so the fire department was right in one thing...the stop, drop and roll technique really does work...it works when there's a fire in your life.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Secular separation
Again so much is happening and I haven't had a chance to really sit down to organize my thoughts until now. However the points that I will be making in this posts are only based on my limited knowledge, I don't have facts but I report what I hear from people that are going through or what I hear in media circles.
Today in Egypt there was a demonstration for civil divorces for Coptic Orthodox Christians to be granted in order to bypass church mandated rules regarding divorce. personally the media that has reported this has left out a lot of information about the stance of the Coptic church regarding this issue, with the exception that the church is against divorce. Okay that's fine but to an outside reader it just puts the church in a very bad light. This situation also brings up the issue of separation between religion and state within Egypt. So that will be another issue that I hope to address.
first you can read all about the sacrament of matrimony according to the Coptic church here http://www.copticchurch.net/topics/thecopticchurch/sacraments/6_matrimony.html
the sacrament of marriage is quite beautiful and if youre not so distracted with all the petty details of the wedding, the prayers are amazing. A mystery is occurring. Even the hymn of the Holy Spirit is sung during the ceremony. A traditional Coptic wedding is done with liturgy immediately following the matrimonial ceremony since the sacraments in the church normally have you take communion immediately following the type of sacrament. It is quite beautiful to see the newlywed couple taking communion together for the first time as husband and wife. I've been to several of these traditional weddings. They are long but they are worth it. I could go on forever, but let's not digress.
Understanding the church's stance on divorce is simple...the church leans on the teaching from the Bible regarding adultery as being the reason. Bishop Paula is the bishop of family affairs and he is the one who ultimately grants the divorce. He has a weekly show on ctv ( Coptic channel ) called beit ala el sakhr or in English: house on a rock. Here he addresses many relationship issues and many people call in or come on the show to speak about their horror stories. Their cases are heartbreaking and some have had their pending cases for many years.
In my own opinion there needs to be more than one bishop assigned to this. It seems like the separation rate within the Coptic church has increased. So I believe the Coptic church needs to somehow reform on how they tackle this, not alter Biblical teaching which they must uphold as church leaders. Part of the reasons of protesting is that many cases have been just dragged on for years without any movement...this can take an emotional and physical toll on the couple.
Those who separate or divorce in the church suffer from being treated like outsiders from other parishioners because somehow we have in our brain that divorce is haram...priests and servants in th church need to do better outreach to families who need help instead of waiting for some big blow out to occur then become the next pariahs of the church.
Getting back on track with this issue is a bigger problem....some people resort to converting to Islam to get what they want. I don't know about you, but converting religions just to get what you want is unacceptable from both ends. I do not want someone converting to Christiantiy just so that they can get married and not really believe in Christ. I believe the same goes for other religions. Taking these extreme measures puts one in a position where they have severed themselves from other sacraments such as Eucharist. I know the situation is difficult but that's where the church can somehow streamline this process and give out their decisions faster.
Civil marriages require a secular state. As of now, Egypt is not a secular state, and many revolutionaries are fighting for this. Egypt has two types of citizens, Muslims and non Muslims. On the national ID card the religion is stated, which can lead to discrimination if you are not Muslim, especially if the person who is trying to hire, help, arrest, or whatever has something against you being not Muslim. Egypt needs to get on the program eliminating this. When I show my driver's license here in the US, my religion is not stated on there. Same should go for Egypt and their national ID card. Have each religious institution deal with their follows in a spiritual not political way. Not all Egyptians follow a religion, so if they were born into it and have to follow these rules that they don't follow to begin with it causes issues. So establishing a secular state will allow for a secular solution to gain divorce.
I can go on and on about this but enough for now. The Coptic church needs to do a better job outreaching families, education thru pre marital sessions and couples meetings after, and delegation of more learned church clergy to assist Bishop Paula in granting divorces or streamline the process so that one is it left 7 years in limbo trying to get a separation from someone who potentially can do physical or emotional harm.
Today in Egypt there was a demonstration for civil divorces for Coptic Orthodox Christians to be granted in order to bypass church mandated rules regarding divorce. personally the media that has reported this has left out a lot of information about the stance of the Coptic church regarding this issue, with the exception that the church is against divorce. Okay that's fine but to an outside reader it just puts the church in a very bad light. This situation also brings up the issue of separation between religion and state within Egypt. So that will be another issue that I hope to address.
first you can read all about the sacrament of matrimony according to the Coptic church here http://www.copticchurch.net/topics/thecopticchurch/sacraments/6_matrimony.html
the sacrament of marriage is quite beautiful and if youre not so distracted with all the petty details of the wedding, the prayers are amazing. A mystery is occurring. Even the hymn of the Holy Spirit is sung during the ceremony. A traditional Coptic wedding is done with liturgy immediately following the matrimonial ceremony since the sacraments in the church normally have you take communion immediately following the type of sacrament. It is quite beautiful to see the newlywed couple taking communion together for the first time as husband and wife. I've been to several of these traditional weddings. They are long but they are worth it. I could go on forever, but let's not digress.
Understanding the church's stance on divorce is simple...the church leans on the teaching from the Bible regarding adultery as being the reason. Bishop Paula is the bishop of family affairs and he is the one who ultimately grants the divorce. He has a weekly show on ctv ( Coptic channel ) called beit ala el sakhr or in English: house on a rock. Here he addresses many relationship issues and many people call in or come on the show to speak about their horror stories. Their cases are heartbreaking and some have had their pending cases for many years.
In my own opinion there needs to be more than one bishop assigned to this. It seems like the separation rate within the Coptic church has increased. So I believe the Coptic church needs to somehow reform on how they tackle this, not alter Biblical teaching which they must uphold as church leaders. Part of the reasons of protesting is that many cases have been just dragged on for years without any movement...this can take an emotional and physical toll on the couple.
Those who separate or divorce in the church suffer from being treated like outsiders from other parishioners because somehow we have in our brain that divorce is haram...priests and servants in th church need to do better outreach to families who need help instead of waiting for some big blow out to occur then become the next pariahs of the church.
Getting back on track with this issue is a bigger problem....some people resort to converting to Islam to get what they want. I don't know about you, but converting religions just to get what you want is unacceptable from both ends. I do not want someone converting to Christiantiy just so that they can get married and not really believe in Christ. I believe the same goes for other religions. Taking these extreme measures puts one in a position where they have severed themselves from other sacraments such as Eucharist. I know the situation is difficult but that's where the church can somehow streamline this process and give out their decisions faster.
Civil marriages require a secular state. As of now, Egypt is not a secular state, and many revolutionaries are fighting for this. Egypt has two types of citizens, Muslims and non Muslims. On the national ID card the religion is stated, which can lead to discrimination if you are not Muslim, especially if the person who is trying to hire, help, arrest, or whatever has something against you being not Muslim. Egypt needs to get on the program eliminating this. When I show my driver's license here in the US, my religion is not stated on there. Same should go for Egypt and their national ID card. Have each religious institution deal with their follows in a spiritual not political way. Not all Egyptians follow a religion, so if they were born into it and have to follow these rules that they don't follow to begin with it causes issues. So establishing a secular state will allow for a secular solution to gain divorce.
I can go on and on about this but enough for now. The Coptic church needs to do a better job outreaching families, education thru pre marital sessions and couples meetings after, and delegation of more learned church clergy to assist Bishop Paula in granting divorces or streamline the process so that one is it left 7 years in limbo trying to get a separation from someone who potentially can do physical or emotional harm.
Monday, June 27, 2011
elevator follies
this past weekend, i attended our church's servants retreat. to be quite honest, i really didn't want to go. ive been really jaded lately regarding church service (i'd rather not go into this now), however this weekend i was pleasantly surprised by how filled i got with the topic regarding the gifts in Romans 12. in addition, something that was truly needed this weekend was to built a bond with the servants in attendance. weekends like this, you get to speak to different people that you normally don't see on a regular sunday since we are all busy serving. it was a good time and then the icing on the cake came on the last day.
there were 12 of us who got onto an elevator. as soon as we get on, martha said 'imagine we got stuck on the elevator'...of course we kind of just joked around about it. the elevator opened on the second floor and mariam got out...we thought we were home free. somewhere between the 3rd and 4th floors, the elevator suddenly stopped and the comment all of a sudden became reality. i have never been stuck in an elevator before in my life. ive always heard about it and you watch stuff on tv where the elevator gets stuck and at the end it can fall all the way down. so i was stuck...all 11 of us were stuck. we called for help and used our cell phones to contact the rest of the people from the retreat just to let them know we were okay.
however i really didn't expect to be stuck for up almost 50 minutes. we kept the mood relatively light as we joked around a lot. we were thankful that we all knew each other, and that there were no kids stuck with us. the most calm person the entire time in the elevator was my dad. sometimes when people are silent they think something is wrong...but my dad had the right attitude. he had taken communion that morning and also for the first time in his life he was asked to hold the Offering of the Lamb in the beginning of liturgy. he was particularly touched by this and he gained a peace he's never had...so in his mind...whatever happens happens and just go with the flow...mr. star again, truly a star :D
i particularly got concerned as it got hot in the elevator and there was a lack of ventilation. i was concerned for the older people as time went on. we kept joking but we also resorted to prayer. yesterday was the feast day of st. george of el-mezahem. if my arabic serves me correctly...mezahem comes from the word of zahma meaning crowded....we sang a tamgeed or glorfication in the elevator mentioning this saint. we also sang kirye eleisons. we heard our group on the outside singing praises as well.
part of me understood why st. paul would praise God in a prison. i mean you can't really compare much between a prison and an elevator. both circumstances are very different but there's a similarity of being trapped and not being in control of the outcome of the situation. we resorted to God joyfully and with a knowledge that there's nothing we can do except praise God and ask for His mercy. this point really hit home as i started fanning myself and the person next to me.
the ending was particularly touching...we felt the elevator move and the power somehow back on. as we got to the lobby everyone greeted us (i did a zaghroota coming off the elevator), the greeting was very touching...they were cheering but i also saw the stress in everyone's faces. some of the mother's were crying and hugged all of us. one person rescued us with water. we had joked in the elevator that we should use this to take advantage of the situation...we wanted all sorts of special treatment with sandwiches and drinks to greet us. but we got something even more special...the love. we were all united in that moment. we knew that everyone was praying inside and out of the elevator. being stuck for that period of time felt like an eternity...and we were almost packed like sardines. we all bonded inside the elevator and we knew there was a bond happening outside.
the ironic thing was that the fire department showed up after we had just stepped off the elevator. apparently there was a lot of politics of trying to get out us and thankfully we were unaware of this. we also found out that we had lost power between the floors...also something we were unaware of. i dont wish to comment on the negative things since the outcome of this was favorable and everyone was safe.
our positive attitude and prayerful spirit is what kept us going. it was a take home lesson for me to always stay hopeful in a negative situation. i hope never to get stuck again in an elevator but for some reason, im thankful for this experience. our group somehow grew closer together and that is the true meaning of fellowship.
there were 12 of us who got onto an elevator. as soon as we get on, martha said 'imagine we got stuck on the elevator'...of course we kind of just joked around about it. the elevator opened on the second floor and mariam got out...we thought we were home free. somewhere between the 3rd and 4th floors, the elevator suddenly stopped and the comment all of a sudden became reality. i have never been stuck in an elevator before in my life. ive always heard about it and you watch stuff on tv where the elevator gets stuck and at the end it can fall all the way down. so i was stuck...all 11 of us were stuck. we called for help and used our cell phones to contact the rest of the people from the retreat just to let them know we were okay.
however i really didn't expect to be stuck for up almost 50 minutes. we kept the mood relatively light as we joked around a lot. we were thankful that we all knew each other, and that there were no kids stuck with us. the most calm person the entire time in the elevator was my dad. sometimes when people are silent they think something is wrong...but my dad had the right attitude. he had taken communion that morning and also for the first time in his life he was asked to hold the Offering of the Lamb in the beginning of liturgy. he was particularly touched by this and he gained a peace he's never had...so in his mind...whatever happens happens and just go with the flow...mr. star again, truly a star :D
i particularly got concerned as it got hot in the elevator and there was a lack of ventilation. i was concerned for the older people as time went on. we kept joking but we also resorted to prayer. yesterday was the feast day of st. george of el-mezahem. if my arabic serves me correctly...mezahem comes from the word of zahma meaning crowded....we sang a tamgeed or glorfication in the elevator mentioning this saint. we also sang kirye eleisons. we heard our group on the outside singing praises as well.
part of me understood why st. paul would praise God in a prison. i mean you can't really compare much between a prison and an elevator. both circumstances are very different but there's a similarity of being trapped and not being in control of the outcome of the situation. we resorted to God joyfully and with a knowledge that there's nothing we can do except praise God and ask for His mercy. this point really hit home as i started fanning myself and the person next to me.
the ending was particularly touching...we felt the elevator move and the power somehow back on. as we got to the lobby everyone greeted us (i did a zaghroota coming off the elevator), the greeting was very touching...they were cheering but i also saw the stress in everyone's faces. some of the mother's were crying and hugged all of us. one person rescued us with water. we had joked in the elevator that we should use this to take advantage of the situation...we wanted all sorts of special treatment with sandwiches and drinks to greet us. but we got something even more special...the love. we were all united in that moment. we knew that everyone was praying inside and out of the elevator. being stuck for that period of time felt like an eternity...and we were almost packed like sardines. we all bonded inside the elevator and we knew there was a bond happening outside.
the ironic thing was that the fire department showed up after we had just stepped off the elevator. apparently there was a lot of politics of trying to get out us and thankfully we were unaware of this. we also found out that we had lost power between the floors...also something we were unaware of. i dont wish to comment on the negative things since the outcome of this was favorable and everyone was safe.
our positive attitude and prayerful spirit is what kept us going. it was a take home lesson for me to always stay hopeful in a negative situation. i hope never to get stuck again in an elevator but for some reason, im thankful for this experience. our group somehow grew closer together and that is the true meaning of fellowship.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Wedding Photography Seminar
I don't have any cool title for this posting. I attended a wedding photography seminar yesterday so I wanted to share some of the info as well as my whole feeling on the subject.
I've said this many times, props and respect to all wedding photographers or any photographer out in the field. Photography is an art and you must love it in order so succeed in a cut throat business. I am not a cut throat, competitive business savvy person, however I know that good pictures come when you can connect with your subject. I know somewhere in my pictures I am able to do so, especially when I have a personal relationship with the people I'm shooting.
Here's some useful info and my reaction of course
Equipment--more specifically lenses: I understand why photographers charge an arm and a leg for their services. In addition to time post production, making photo albums, etc, they need to get lenses and perhaps an extra camera body to make the special day right. This particular photographer recommended 70-200 f.28 and 24-70 f2.8 85mm f1.4. now add that all together and the total cost of lenses equals: $4,808. I dont know about you, but for a hobbiest, this a killer in any budget. I'm writing a list of all the things that I can do with $4,808 (including an exotic trip to Europe and beyond), but again if you are doing this as a business, you are charging to cover the costs of this insanely expensive piece that enhances your pics. the 70-200 f.28 is huge because it is a telephoto lens and at 200mm zoomed in, you're still getting an amazing apeture..so it costs to get good lenses that allow a lot of light in the world of photography (and i hit myself for choosing such an expensive hobby). The lady giving the seminar shoots with a Canon but mentioned that Nikon lenses in general are superior (so everyone in the room including myself thanked God we had Nikons but the debate will always be there LOL)
Flash: I learned, when possible always use....I just bought a nikon speedlight sb-700 and I really dont know how to use it...I put it in ttl mode which is equivalent to auto mode. But flash is extremely useful in those low light situations and lit situations as well. Fun fact: flash freezes movement including at a low shutter speed :) the photographer yesterday mentioned she loves to use as much natural light as possible.
Then there was a lot of time focused on how to make it through a wedding. One must have an established relationship with the bride and groom prior to the wedding. Wedding photography has evolved into photojournalism, telling the story about the couple. There is some formality that is kept with wedding photography, but many people like to see the story behind the couple. A good photographer can tell this story, so that no matter if there are 100 weddings are at the same church or reception place, each wedding does not look a like. My personal view, is that when shots look the same with different couples same photographer, the photographer is not using his/her creative/artistic ability to show the story or personality of the couple.
Preparation before the wedding is key, knowing the lighting of where you're going. I think the word light or a form of it was used the most yesterday. Photography in general is having that perfect light and the perfect exposure....How do you make the person look their best. There were all other kinds of tips such is bringing a stepstool with you (especially if you're short like me) because shooting from below is not as flattering as above--go Facebook self portraits!
My whole view on this: I don't have the confidence, money or zeal to venture into wedding photography just yet. I was just too overwhelmed me in so many different ways. I am a little scared that I will lose the enjoyment of photography once turned into a business....so for now I'm going to continue to shoot my circle of friends, experiment on them until I gain that command and confidence. I still have a far way to go in learning about photography and the ins and outs of it. I know that every photographer starts with some sort of spark and passion. I know I have it, I just want to enjoy the hobby for now and see where it leads me..
I've said this many times, props and respect to all wedding photographers or any photographer out in the field. Photography is an art and you must love it in order so succeed in a cut throat business. I am not a cut throat, competitive business savvy person, however I know that good pictures come when you can connect with your subject. I know somewhere in my pictures I am able to do so, especially when I have a personal relationship with the people I'm shooting.
Here's some useful info and my reaction of course
Equipment--more specifically lenses: I understand why photographers charge an arm and a leg for their services. In addition to time post production, making photo albums, etc, they need to get lenses and perhaps an extra camera body to make the special day right. This particular photographer recommended 70-200 f.28 and 24-70 f2.8 85mm f1.4. now add that all together and the total cost of lenses equals: $4,808. I dont know about you, but for a hobbiest, this a killer in any budget. I'm writing a list of all the things that I can do with $4,808 (including an exotic trip to Europe and beyond), but again if you are doing this as a business, you are charging to cover the costs of this insanely expensive piece that enhances your pics. the 70-200 f.28 is huge because it is a telephoto lens and at 200mm zoomed in, you're still getting an amazing apeture..so it costs to get good lenses that allow a lot of light in the world of photography (and i hit myself for choosing such an expensive hobby). The lady giving the seminar shoots with a Canon but mentioned that Nikon lenses in general are superior (so everyone in the room including myself thanked God we had Nikons but the debate will always be there LOL)
Flash: I learned, when possible always use....I just bought a nikon speedlight sb-700 and I really dont know how to use it...I put it in ttl mode which is equivalent to auto mode. But flash is extremely useful in those low light situations and lit situations as well. Fun fact: flash freezes movement including at a low shutter speed :) the photographer yesterday mentioned she loves to use as much natural light as possible.
Then there was a lot of time focused on how to make it through a wedding. One must have an established relationship with the bride and groom prior to the wedding. Wedding photography has evolved into photojournalism, telling the story about the couple. There is some formality that is kept with wedding photography, but many people like to see the story behind the couple. A good photographer can tell this story, so that no matter if there are 100 weddings are at the same church or reception place, each wedding does not look a like. My personal view, is that when shots look the same with different couples same photographer, the photographer is not using his/her creative/artistic ability to show the story or personality of the couple.
Preparation before the wedding is key, knowing the lighting of where you're going. I think the word light or a form of it was used the most yesterday. Photography in general is having that perfect light and the perfect exposure....How do you make the person look their best. There were all other kinds of tips such is bringing a stepstool with you (especially if you're short like me) because shooting from below is not as flattering as above--go Facebook self portraits!
My whole view on this: I don't have the confidence, money or zeal to venture into wedding photography just yet. I was just too overwhelmed me in so many different ways. I am a little scared that I will lose the enjoyment of photography once turned into a business....so for now I'm going to continue to shoot my circle of friends, experiment on them until I gain that command and confidence. I still have a far way to go in learning about photography and the ins and outs of it. I know that every photographer starts with some sort of spark and passion. I know I have it, I just want to enjoy the hobby for now and see where it leads me..
Friday, June 17, 2011
Daughter of the Star
I am the daughter of the star. Truly I am...My dad's name in Arabic means star. This Sunday marks Father's Day here in the US. I dont think there is a father's day in Egypt, despite it being a patriarchal society. We all celebrate Mother's day with the frill but then Father's day rolls around and we're all too busy trying to find time to celebrate or find a different color tie. I even got a phone call to attend a Cirque du Soliel show with friends. When I mentioned it was Father's day...the person said go celebrate and come after. On Mother's Day that would be completely unacceptable but it's okay on Father's Day? Okay whatever.
So this blog is a tribute to my dad and father like figures. First.--Mr. Star himself. It's no accident his name in arabic means Star because he is a star on every level. My dad is older, but he still has that childlike quality in him that brings out an adventurous side in him. Going on family vacations is fun because he is willing to explore new places and food. yes, he maybe in bed by 9pm but the adventure during the day makes up for sleeping early. He is a great source of wisdom and I can go to him with any issue no matter how uncomfortable it may be. My friends also enjoy speaking to him. He reaches out to people and tries to encourage no matter what they're doing in life. I remember when we were searching for colleges for me to attend. He made sure he ate in every school cafeteria and spoke to students to get a feel for campus. I was embarrassed, but he didn't care since he wanted to make sure that the school I attended fit my personality (and also not get sick from the food). One thing is that he always encourages you to do the right thing, keep the peace with people...something that can be difficult especially when you're hurt by someone. He's fun to be around and I think I'm lucky. I'm not nearly the Star that he is.
Now to all the other 'fathers' in my life...the priests who we call Abouna our Father. Many of them have taken on that father figure role for me...spiritual father....there are few that know me inside and out and when the formality between priest and congregant is taken away, you truly see that fatherly figure in them. They have so many people to look after in the congregation, so I am touched when they reach out to me to see how I'm doing, or have a very candid conversation about what's going on in my life, or even better--just hanging out like normal people. I know priests, especially in the Coptic Church, are pulled in million different directions, but it's those times when you have a gathering or just ask your priest 'let's go out for coffee'...where the father/daughter father/son relationship is shown. So I appreciate the priests out there who have taken me under their wing as their spiritual daughter...
I'm not only a daughter of the Star but also of the King of Kings. Happy Father's Day!
So this blog is a tribute to my dad and father like figures. First.--Mr. Star himself. It's no accident his name in arabic means Star because he is a star on every level. My dad is older, but he still has that childlike quality in him that brings out an adventurous side in him. Going on family vacations is fun because he is willing to explore new places and food. yes, he maybe in bed by 9pm but the adventure during the day makes up for sleeping early. He is a great source of wisdom and I can go to him with any issue no matter how uncomfortable it may be. My friends also enjoy speaking to him. He reaches out to people and tries to encourage no matter what they're doing in life. I remember when we were searching for colleges for me to attend. He made sure he ate in every school cafeteria and spoke to students to get a feel for campus. I was embarrassed, but he didn't care since he wanted to make sure that the school I attended fit my personality (and also not get sick from the food). One thing is that he always encourages you to do the right thing, keep the peace with people...something that can be difficult especially when you're hurt by someone. He's fun to be around and I think I'm lucky. I'm not nearly the Star that he is.
Now to all the other 'fathers' in my life...the priests who we call Abouna our Father. Many of them have taken on that father figure role for me...spiritual father....there are few that know me inside and out and when the formality between priest and congregant is taken away, you truly see that fatherly figure in them. They have so many people to look after in the congregation, so I am touched when they reach out to me to see how I'm doing, or have a very candid conversation about what's going on in my life, or even better--just hanging out like normal people. I know priests, especially in the Coptic Church, are pulled in million different directions, but it's those times when you have a gathering or just ask your priest 'let's go out for coffee'...where the father/daughter father/son relationship is shown. So I appreciate the priests out there who have taken me under their wing as their spiritual daughter...
I'm not only a daughter of the Star but also of the King of Kings. Happy Father's Day!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Pink House on the Corner
It was that pink house on the corner that I took piano lessons from about fifth grade to my senior year of HS. I remember it was always on a Friday evening around 7pm. I remember the countless times I tried to get out of going but I would go every week. It was every week after a long day at school, I would sit down for 30 minutes trying to recant what I did or did not practice over the week. Some weeks were great some were not. It would be around this time of year that we would have our piano recital held at the Pleasantville Public Library. Right before my recital in 8th grade, I broke my wrist. I told my piano teacher that I would not be able to play in the recital, but she had other plans for me. That year, I played the right hand of the song that I was supposed to play, while she played the left hand....it turns out the doctor who treated me heard about this and was pleased.
I know that throughout the years, as much as I hated going to take piano lessons, the more and more I was appreciative of them after I stopped taking lessons. There was a relationship far beyond the scales, sharps, flats, on the piano. My piano teacher was not only just a teacher, she became a mentor and a friend. About 5 years ago, she passed away. I was devestated and I couldn't exactly express my feelings about how I truly felt. It was like someone who was part of my life was there no more, even though I had not seen her in ages after her move to North Carolina. My heart ached also for her daughter who was pregnant with twins. After she died, I remember heading straight to Barnes and Noble and picked out a bunch of CDs for Chopin and Mozart. She was a catalyst behind my love for classical music, which by the way I dont listen to as often, but should. I don't touch my piano anymore, but I know I need to pick it up again...more for a tribute for her.
So this morning, I attended the wake for her husband...her husband is being buried today on their wedding anniversary. Her husband will be by her side today. Today was a remember not just for me to remember her husband, but my teacher. I see her face in her kids and grandchildren. I sensed her spirit today and could almost hear her voice. She was also a support for my mother... it's people like this who enter your life you cherish for the amazing lessons in life they teach you. These lessons all came from the basement of the pink house on the corner.
I know that throughout the years, as much as I hated going to take piano lessons, the more and more I was appreciative of them after I stopped taking lessons. There was a relationship far beyond the scales, sharps, flats, on the piano. My piano teacher was not only just a teacher, she became a mentor and a friend. About 5 years ago, she passed away. I was devestated and I couldn't exactly express my feelings about how I truly felt. It was like someone who was part of my life was there no more, even though I had not seen her in ages after her move to North Carolina. My heart ached also for her daughter who was pregnant with twins. After she died, I remember heading straight to Barnes and Noble and picked out a bunch of CDs for Chopin and Mozart. She was a catalyst behind my love for classical music, which by the way I dont listen to as often, but should. I don't touch my piano anymore, but I know I need to pick it up again...more for a tribute for her.
So this morning, I attended the wake for her husband...her husband is being buried today on their wedding anniversary. Her husband will be by her side today. Today was a remember not just for me to remember her husband, but my teacher. I see her face in her kids and grandchildren. I sensed her spirit today and could almost hear her voice. She was also a support for my mother... it's people like this who enter your life you cherish for the amazing lessons in life they teach you. These lessons all came from the basement of the pink house on the corner.
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